


On the Road

by r_lee



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 07:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r_lee/pseuds/r_lee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They had to go <i>somewhere</i> after leaving Kirkwall, but before they could get there, they had to... get there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Road

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pear/gifts).



At least, Hawke told herself their first night on the run, after defeating Meredith and for all intents and purposes leaving their widest swathe of destruction yet in their wake, there were no unexpected or random battles. That was a blessing. She'd heard _I'll show you why mages are feared!_ enough over the past weeks to last a lifetime. They had to get as far from Kirkwall as possible—all of them, as fast as Varric's small legs could run—and the Deep Roads were out of the question after seeing that relic forged into Meredith's sword. So was the Wounded Coast and Sundermount... well, Hawke never wanted to set foot there again, not after the fiasco with the Dalish. The taste of their blood still lay heavy on her skin, washed away many times though it had been.

It didn't surprise her that Merrill was the first to leave. She'd always walked a solitary path and would have the rest of her life to come to terms with what Keeper Marethari had done on her behalf. Right or not, misguided or not, what was done was done. They bade farewell and watched Merrill turn toward Sundermount without further explanation as she and Anders and Varric and Fenris headed in the general direction of Antiva. Eventually they'd make their way to Rivain, where she intended to look for Isabela.

"Aveline's got a task in front of her," Fenris remarked by way of veering the subject away from one painful farewell toward another. "Restoring order to a city awash in chaos won't be easy."

"If anyone can do it, it's her," Varric assured him. He seemed to have lost none of his humor, but laughing in the face of adversity had always been his way. "She and Donnic have the respect of the guards. With Meredith and Orsino both gone, they'll have their hands full."

"That's only the half of it," Fenris agreed, too tired to put up another fight today. "With the Chantry demolished..." He glared at Anders, who sat at the side of their camp staring out into the darkening sky.

"Enough, Fenris," Hawke admonished. "I'm trusting the two of you to let bygones be bygones. What happened in Kirkwall is part of our past now, and I don't know about the two of you but I'm more interested in moving on to the future."

"Bygones, that's what you call it? The wholesale destruction of the entire city?" Fenris frowned, set down his bedroll.

On the other side of the firepit, Varric shook his head. "Can it, Elf. Give it a rest, just for once."

Hawke's mouth quirked into a small grin; she pushed back the hair from her eyes. It was business as usual, but she wouldn't trade it for the world. Quietly, she stole to Anders' side. "Don't listen to them, Anders. They're just blowing off steam."

He shook his head. "Fenris is right. I should have trusted everyone. Trusted all of you, but it was one burden I couldn't lay at your feet, Hawke. Believe me, it would have made things so much easier to have an accomplice."

"A knowing accomplice, you mean." Her own bitterness over being used would take however long it needed to dissipate. There was no point in denying how much it stung but she would follow her own advice and let bygones be bygones. "Regardless, you did what you thought was right. If only everybody behaved by that same rigid moral code." Sitting next to him, she poked him in the waist with her elbow. That had always been Hawke-speak for _lighten up._

"The problem is that we all do just that. Follow our own codes. I realize now that leaving no room for compromise asks too much of people. The thing is this: Justice is absolute. There is no give and take where he's concerned. A thing is either absolutely right or absolutely wrong and where I might, for example, like kittens because they're cute even though they claw the furnishings, he makes no allowance for a thing's cute or warm or cuddly side. It's where he and I differ. Had I known it at the time..."

"You still would have offered Justice refuge. It's what you do, Anders. It's what you'll always do. You're a healer. Some day, you'll be a healer with a kitten of his own."

He sighed, leaned against her, and let his arm touch her back. "You're too kind. There must be freedom and there must be justice for all. I don't know what else to do."

"I do." Grinning, Hawke drew a bottle of aged Antivan brandy from her backpack. "I looted it from a corpse on the way out of the city." She dangled it in front of him, all amused enticement.

Anders put his hand up defensively. "You know Justice won't let me drink."

"Just for once, tell Justice to go take a hike. It's our first night out from under Meredith's thumb. We need to celebrate."

"By letting ourselves be careless?" He shook his head. "I can't."

"You can." Uncorking the bottle, she ran it just below his nose. "Mmm, that smell. How long has it been? You know you can't resist."

"What I know I can't believe is that you still want me with you, after all I've done." Once again, he shook off the temptation of the brandy. "I didn't expect to live through the day."

Hawke raised an eyebrow. "We didn't come this far simply to lose one another. If you thought being invited into my home and bed meant that little to me, then you don't know me at all."

"I didn't mean—"

"Then you'd better stop talking and take a drink of the brandy. I'm not known for my patience, and I don't want to hear anything more about Justice until... until tomorrow morning at the earliest."

"What I'm trying to say, Hawke, is... you mean the world to me. When I told you I'd found a way to separate myself from Justice, I meant it. It was to be a permanent solution."

"And you thought your own death and leaving me alone was better than living with the knowledge of what you were about to do?" She tapped her finger thoughtfully against the as-yet-unclaimed bottle of Antivan brandy. "I know one thing, Anders. Each one of us must live with the consequences of our actions, and it's something we'll do every day of our lives. But it's our lives that matter, and what we choose to do with them from here forward. Don't doubt the love I have for you, and I won't doubt yours." Once again, she pushed the bottle into his hand. "It's you I love and you I've chosen. I'm no fool. I know Justice is part of the package, but I have chosen to accept all that you are."

Finally, Anders' fingers wrapped round the bottle. "I do this for you, my love."

From the other side of the camp, Varric's voice rang out loud and clear. "Just do it already. The suspense is killing me. Oh, and one more thing, Blondie. When you and Hawke finally disappear into your tent together, try to keep it down. I don't want to hear _this is my favorite part._ Leave _something_ to our imaginations."

It might have been the first time Hawke ever remembered hearing Fenris laugh.


End file.
